It’s Time to Man Up!!
One more word and I'm throwing it!
Have you ever had a co-worker who does everything in the world at work, except work? Then they go on and on and on about how much work they have to do, so much that the boss is now requesting your help in assisting this lazy individual in getting their work done? Doesn’t this just make you want to throw a stapler at them sometimes?
Have you ever had a friend or relative that gets fired from jobs because they are constantly late, taking 2 hour lunches or Face Booking on company time? Then they get mad and want you to listen to why it is so unfair, they have all these bills to pay (blah, blah, blah) and if you dare say exactly what the problem is, they are now mad at you?
Ugghh...
Have you, yourself ever had control over a situation, but because things didn’t exactly go your way you begin blaming everything and everybody for what you didn’t do correctly?
Have you ever been wrong and refused to admit it, but you fully know how frustrating it is for someone to do the same to you?
I’m sure most of us have encountered these situations or similar ones either with people we know or with ourselves. Taking responsibility for our actions and admitting fault are two of the hardest things for a human being to do After all our egos are at stake! And Heaven forbid we should let another individual discover our insecurities, fears, or even lack of ethics.
While, trying to pass the buck, pawn off your responsibilities or make excuses for your mistakes instead of owning up to them may certainly seem like the easiest way out of a tough situation, in the long run it can end up being more trouble than it’s worth. It is actually easier to just suck it up and face the music.
It is much more respectable and respectful to others, as it takes a great deal of character, to own up to one’s mistakes or shortcomings – and the sooner, the better. No need to prolong the inevitable. And yes, it is inevitable because sooner or later someone will see through your façade.
In instances where you are responsible for meeting an obligation for yourself or for someone else, it is possible you may not be able to please everyone. And sure, there will be circumstances that do not allow you to uphold your commitments and responsibilities – and these can be totally beyond your control. But let’s be honest, these circumstances are very few and far between ,so if you have slacked off on your obligation, you have no one to blame but yourself for anything that goes wrong or if it is incomplete.
If you are one of these people, you may be wondering “How is it possible to own up to my mistakes or admit fault?” Quite simply, just do it. The same way you open your mouth to complain about the misfortune you have suffered at the hands of none other than “numero uno.” The same way you shift blame to the next person. The same way you say “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Yes, it will leave you vulnerable to criticism; perhaps even damage your ego. There is nothing wrong with that! It happens to the best. More than likely the best had to endure some sort of humility in order to get where they are. So go ahead and bite the bullet because it’s time to man up! What embarrasses you now, will make you a better person later, because after all, you will probably not want to relive that moment or anything that remotely resembles it. 
God Grant Me the Serenity…
Hello folks! It’s been a couple weeks now since I have graced my presence upon the blog world so I do apologize to those who are faithful to reading my blogs.
I would like to take a moment and express my appreciation for the many blessings, both seen and unseen, in my life and the lives of those around me.
The biggest complaint I’ve been hearing most recently has been about the weather. For those of you unfamiliar with New England weather, it can get pretty friggin cold and since we are thousands of miles away from a desert, it does rain and snow from time to time. Mother Nature is always hard at work keeping our world in order and I respect her for doing such a great job, even though others might disagree.
Last week, we got some cold and rainy weather which was perhaps a little out of season. I heard nothing but griping about now nasty it is outside and how much people wanted to go back home and go to bed. Yes, warm and sunny weather is most ideal for a lot of people. However, having lived on this earth for 30 + years as most of the gripers have, you would think that by now they would realize the weather changes, it will not always be what they want it to be and it does not go away because they are complaining about it – so what’s the use?
I say “Bundle up and keep it moving!” Trust me though, anyone who knows me can tell you, I am not one who adores cold weather and clouds. I am much happier in a warm and sunny climate, but I have learned to appreciate the changes in the weather and understand it is the workings of a much more powerful and wiser source than I. As are many other things in this world.
I have found myself to be guilty of complaining about things I cannot change, not having the courage to change what I can and not even seeking the wisdom to know the difference. I’m positive we have all been guilty of this. We need to understand that by opening our mouths and speaking anything allows what we speak to become reality. So for people complaining about it being too cold or too hot or too rainy or too dry, make up your mind what you will be content with. For those complaining that you want to go back to bed during cold and rainy weather, be careful what you ask for…you could be the next candidate for unemployment.
This is not just about the weather though. There are so many times we complain about things because we feel they aren’t fair or should be a certain way that we think would make us happier. My advice to you: if you are unhappy about something, change it. If you cannot change it, change your attitude about it. Things will not always go your way in life but you are the one who decides what will and will not make you happy.
At this point I would like you to repeat after me: God grant me the serenity…….to accept the things I cannot change……to have the courage to change the things I can……and to have the wisdom to know the difference.
A New Face of Barbie
Trichelle & Janessa
So I’m sure you’ve heard by now that Mattel has launched a new African-American Barbie doll, “So In Style,” and it has received mixed reviews. I had known about the dolls but I had no idea about the controversy surrounding them until yesterday on my way home from work. (Though I should have figured, right?) Anyway, on 107.5 WBLS Egypt’s show’s topic was about how African-Americans feel about the doll. To my surprise (but not really) many were, shall we say, outraged and offended. Why? The dolls are depicted as brown skinned with fuller lips, curlier hair, broader noses and urban clothing.
Now Egypt asked some folks to call up and give their opinion on the matter. So me being the opinionated person that I am – I called 
My opinion, in a nutshell is: (and I think a lot of people would agree with me) As African-American people we need to stop being ashamed of how we look. I truly believe anyone offended by the dolls are just ashamed of our unique and distinct features. But how in the world can you be mad at a doll that looks like you? It’s about friggin time we got a doll that wasn’t just brown skinned but still looked like the white version of the doll. I used to wonder what the point of that was.
Additionally, the dolls are called “So In Style.” Not “This is the Way All Black Woman Look.” I would deduce from the name that it would be geared toward the more urban African-American image.
Furthermore, it’s not like some non-African-American executive designed the dolls. They were designed by an African-American woman named Stacy McBride-Irby and I think that we could show a fellow sister some love in being able to accomplish such a feat as a minority herself.
As told by designer Stacey McBride-Irby, the So In Style™ story revolves around Grace™, who was friends with Barbie® in Malibu before moving away to Chicago, where she met Trichelle™ and Kara™, her new BFFs. There, they began to mentor young girls in their community – Courtney®, Janessa™, and Kianna®.
“I want them to be examples to real girls,” says McBride-Irby, “but I wanted to make sure they had an aspirational theme also, that moms will hone in on.” Each pair comes with accessories that reflect their interests – math and music, drill team and science, art and journalism. View the full story here: http://dolldiaries.com/new-barbie-line-so-in-style/
While I think that, yes, maybe Mattel should come out with an additional side of the African-American community which depicts other aspects of us, this design is definitely a step in the right direction. We are a very diverse group of people and all of our talents, abilities and uniqueness should be recognized.
So at this time I would like to give a “big-up” to Stacy McBride-Irby on her accomplishment with getting this new line launched. I think the dolls are very cute and look forward to buying them for my 8 – going on 28 – year old.
One last thought though…perhaps it would make people happier if the dolls looked like this racist portrayal of African-Americans:
This actually looks kinda scary!
“They Just People”
Happy Monday folks! I had a great weekend and hope to continue that greatness right on through the week. I wish the same for you that is reading this right now. :)
Anywho, today on my way to work I was thinking of what to write about in my blog for the day. I heard a new song from one of my favorite artists, Queen Latifah, entitled “People.” Real hot track! The song talks about the nature of people. I thought this was a great topic to blog about since I have come to the realization that people do the things they do because…..yup you guessed it, they just people!
Over the years I have had my heart broken, trust crushed and been betrayed by people I would not have imagined would do so. Every single time I felt as if there was something I did wrong. In all actuality it was because….they just people! Don’t get me wrong, I am quite sure that I contributed to some of my own misfortunes in dealing with certain folks. My mom always told me never to put my faith in people, as it is a recipe for disappointment.
Now I know you must think by now that I don’t believe in people, but that’s not entirely true. I believe in the capacity of individuals to be exactly who they are and I trust them to that extent only. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though so don’t trip! There are plenty of wonderful people in the world and I am fortunate enough to have some of them in my life but…they just people!
I have learned not to place expectations or limitations on people. It is not fair to you or to them. I have also learned it is not possible to live your life without getting hurt by people, no matter how hard you try. I’ve learned that no matter what you do, you can’t change people. They are who they are – you must accept them as such or keep it moving. It never hurts to make suggestions to them for personal growth but don’t suggest it and expect it to happen just because you said so, even if it’s a fantastic suggestion. And the number one thing I’ve learned about people is that they are special individuals, deserving of love. Some people just need to be loved from a far! LOL
Word of advice: Don’t write someone off as a human being just because they do not measure up to your standards of a human being. No one is perfect, including you. The next time you think about judging the next person, take a look in the mirror and remember that you – just like they- just people!
Love ya!
ButterFlyyGemini
Past vs Present vs Future
I can't take it!!!
I recently celebrated my 30th birthday. For the last few years I had been hearing “just wait til you turn 30, it’s all down hill”, “you’re getting old” and other things of that negative nature. Soooooo, upon reaching that special day I was greeted by anxiety and mild depression. Over what? Let’s just say it was a “third of my life” crisis. I had a reflection period where all I could do was think about everything that I had done wrong in my life, what I could have done or done better. I recounted every mistake I’d made and every person I regretted dealing with. With the help of a few good people in my life and a little common sense, I realized (for the hundredth time) it is ok to make mistakes, that even if I had done things differently it is not a given that my present / future would be better than it is now and most importantly – that my life is not over! In fact, I feel that it has really just begun. Not only have I closed the chapter on that part of my life, I have begun a sequel. With that said, I have no regrets because everything I’ve experienced has made me who I am and who I will become. (I know, so cliche right?)
Anyway,to anyone that has experienced this, I would love to hear your side of the story. To anyone who is currently experiencing this, I want to say to you that as long as there is still life in your body, there is a future ahead of you. If you aren’t where you want to be in life, there is still time to get there.
See my thing was, I thought I had to have accomplished certain things by the time I turned 30. And although I would love to have those accomplisments under my belt, it’s not too late. Everyday that I wake up is another day closer to obtaining the desires of my heart. With everything that I have learned and experienced over the last 30 years, I cannot fail! If I do fail it is because I gave up.
Going my way?
In conclusion, in the past I have measured my success by the success of others. That is the quickest path to failure and self defeat. The contradiction is that is also motivational. The key is balance. I can be inspired and motivated by others’ success/accomplishments, but I cannot let the fact that I still have work to do defeat me or diminish my achievements. I have accepted that my grind might be a little longer and harder than others’ but in the end I am really the only one who will truly appreciate my hard work and the time I put in. So one day when I’m old and wrinkly and someone asks me “Was it worth it?” – my answer would be “Abso-friggin-lutely!”
ButterflyyGemini Loves You, Even If You Don’t Love Yourself!
Hello world of bloggers! Many would say my arrival here is long overdue. However, I say it is right on time as is everything I do 
Nonetheless, I am happy to have descended!
I hope you will stop by often to see my new posts. I will be sure to keep things interesting for you. As you get to know me and what goes on in my mind, you will understand my goal to enlighten the world in a humble and peaceful way through my unique creative expression!
It’s not all about me though! I want to hear from you, the readers, as well. I want to know if you agree or disagree with my thoughts. Back me up if you feel me or check me if you don’t. I strive for personal growth, so I encourage you to keep it real! But don’t get it twisted, there’s a difference in constructive criticism and being obnoxious. If I feel you have gotten out of line, don’t be mad when your feelings get hurt! I’m am the nicest and fairest person you would ever meet, but I DO NOT TOLERATE B.S. – period.
One more thing – the only rule here is: Do not think that anything on your mind is too awkward, “out there,” or stupid. Some of the greatest successes were drawn from ideas that were called such. Soooooo…I look forward to sharing with you and receiving your feedback as well!
Love ya!
ButterFlyyGemini
